Forgiveness Benefits The Person Doing The Forgiving …

We all make mistakes, I have certainly made my share just in the last few days, but for anyone who holds a grudge and refuses to forgive, they are only hurting themselves….hardening their own hearts. Offering forgiveness is one way to say, I am letting go of the past and moving forward with my life. I am now intending to focus on today and tomorrow and not allow the hurts from the past, keep me from progressing.

But asking for, offering and receiving forgiveness does not quite complete the cycle, for with every mistake or misunderstanding there are consequences…and so many times we hand out those consequences to ourselves…we seem to need to inflict some form of pain on ourselves to make up for how we think we have pained others … I suspect that this is commonly spurred on by GUILT.

Guilt …

Guilt is often portrayed as an emotion, but it is NOT…it is a construct of the mind…brought about by hundreds of years of misinterpreted religious doctrine…and an insane thought that to hurt yourself somehow makes up for hurting someone else. But, it’s time to let go of the guilt…it is debilitating…it serves no useful purpose and often kills that sense of love that we feel for ourselves or others.

Loving Life Just The Way It Is …

And love is really where this conversation is leading, because love is the best way to integrate our mistakes and experiences into useful learning and the only way to effectively release the guilt that has us in it’s grasp.

In my life I have found it important to love the challenges, to love the problems, to love feeling fearful, to love the pain, to love the entire experience of life and right now I decide to even love the guilt – not just the good bits. For without the lows we wouldn’t feel the highs, without the rough we wouldn’t know smooth, without the turmoil we wouldn’t experience peace.

Acceptance …

So these days I do the best I can to accept what life presents me with, to accept that there is a higher purpose, one that is often much later revealed to me in it’s magnificent glory, and I marvel at it’s perfection.

And along with that acceptance of ALL of life’s experiences, comes a profound trust, that all things happen for a reason…especially mistakes!

So for me, there is no one on this planet that ever needs to ask for my forgiveness – it is automatically given…for I know the benefit it provides to me…and every time I forgive someone else, essentially I am forgiving myself and with this deep wisdom comes the profound feeling that – we really are all ONE!

Forgiveness And Remorse …

Sometimes we seem to think that forgiving someone means that we have to condone, excuse of minimize that persons behaviour…when really, what forgiveness does is release the forgiver from any need to pass judgment or ‘pay back’ the other person for their actions/behaviour.  I think it would be both unrealistic and unwise for us to imagine that we could, or even should forget an incident, action or behaviour that has hurt/upset us.

The person who has caused the hurt (this phrase is used loosely just for the purpose of example) cannot expect that expressing remorse will ever be the only step that needs to be taken to mend the ‘damage’. It is merely the first step. It could be likened to polluting the environment for instance. It is one thing to KNOW we have caused damage to our environment and then express REMORSE for our actions…but then what? Nothing? Is that all we need to do?

Of course not! There are distinct and definite steps that can be taken to heal the damage…

See Four Steps To Restore Trust After Someone Has Been Hurt.

Copyright © Elizabeth Richardson.

Elizabeth Richardson is an educator, author, mother and business developer. She is the founder of The Appreciation Space – a business devoted to supporting people in adopting powerful, life-enhancing habits and beginning each day with a fresh perspective. At Get Rid Of Bad Habits – for good! you’ll find successful techniques, processes and hints to help you achieve your goals and it also takes an honest look at love, sex and intimacy and provides useful information on how to create the most fulfilling relationships you can imagine.


Forgiveness – Who Gets The Real Benefit

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