Here are some simple yet highly effective tips for improving any relationship.
1. Be the type of person that you would like to have in your life.
You know, the one who is loving, kind, generous, caring, accepts you just the way you are etc. Don’t expect to get something that you’re not willing to give yourself. Too often we are looking for someone who is the opposite of what we are, for example, we’d like to find someone who is fit and healthy because we need to get into shape. How about the people who search for someone who is wealthy, because they haven’t got their own finances handled!
2. Approach each friendship/relationship from a place of acceptance and excitement.
Do your best to let go all the thoughts about what happened to you ‘in the past’. Don’t even talk about it. Treat each person as special and new. Stop searching for faults! Notice the good things about them – and take the time to tell them what you like about them.
3. If you want a truly fantastic relationship, one of the keys is to treat your partner or friend, as “someone very special”
Some people get into a relationship and stop doing the things that made the relationship great in the first place.
For girls, tell your male friends what you appreciate about them…appreciate them for taking out the rubbish, being there when you need them, making that cup of coffee etc. Have you ever noticed a man’s face light up when he has just been thanked for something he has done? He feels appreciated and acknowledged and it just makes him want to do more.
For guys, find lots of things to compliment your female friends on…how nice their hair looks, what a delightful personality they have, how special they are to you. These things let a girl know that you notice her and it makes her feel special. Have you ever noticed that compliments tend to bring out the best in a girl. She starts to smile from the inside and that makes you happier too.
4. Use your time, effort and energy to focus on the things you want in your life/friendship/relationship and you’ll create more of what you want.
If you spend your time, effort and energy focusing on the things you don’t want, you’ll attract more of that.
One of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is to STOP having conversations about problems. If you have the power to create a solution, implement that solution, then talk about the things you DO want to create. If you don’t have the power to change your situation or problem – accept that and then move on. Have you heard the saying, “where your focus goes, energy flows?” It’s so true.
Let me give you a simple example, if you are in a relationship and you think one of the problems is that, “the two of you don’t go places together any more” and you express that to your partner, that sounds like you are complaining and you both just feel worse. A solution might be to say, “do you remember when we used to go to……………………, let’s do that again!” Now that sounds like a possible solution and your partner now has a clue what to do, your communication is improved and the energy flows towards a positive outcome.
Sometimes we expect our partners to read our minds. Stop doing that and START making the suggestions that create clear and possible solutions.
“Nothing happens by accident!”