Now this post is a bit of fun. These great ideas come from Gorskys comedy. Let us know what your favourites are.

ORIGINAL SOURCE: http://www.gorskys.com.au/articles/sex-positions.html

Here is a selection of Great Sex Positions

# Ken and Barbie style – Neither partner is allowed to bend at the elbows or knees.
# Doggie style – The man attempts to do the impossible.
# Froggie style – Male and female partners in large spa. Male attempts to fertilise female using only the water as a transmission medium. For couples who don’t like each other much any more.
# Fish style – same as Froggie style, but neither partner may use their arms or legs.
# Crouch position – Each partner crouches down on the ground, then simultaneously leaps up, and attempts to couple whilst in mid-air.
# Couch position – Same as the crouch position, but starting at opposite ends of the living room couch.
# Ouch position – Usual outcome of the crouch position.
# Russian style – Partners queue for hours for enough vodka to make each other look attractive.
# Nostrodamus sex – Any encounter that comes as a complete surprise.
# Osama Bin Laden’s position – If you know this position, please contact the FBI for your $25 million reward.
# Bank style – Screw the customers.
# Missionary position – Each partner kneels and prays.
# Stealth style – Hide in a box, sneak around a corner, just as long as she doesn’t see you coming…Antonio Brown [7 Jan 2003]
# Matrix Style – the partners put on sunglasses, and dress in black. They then fly around the room and run on walls in slow motion…D Seebs [7 Jan 2003]
# Marathon Style – A 3 day event featuring such events as the 23-Second-Dash, the ‘Backseat-of-the-car’ Relay and the Condom Toss … Seebs [7 Jan 2003]
# Under the Bed Style – Just as fun as on top of the bed! …D Seebs [7 Jan 2003]
# Praying Mantis Style – When you’re done somebody gets eaten…Sleeping with Seattle [7 Jan 2003]
# Lazy Susan Style (Advanced) – Intercourse while spinning at high speed…Sleeping with Seattle [7 Jan 2003]
# Carnival Style – You must be this tall to ride…Sleeping with Seattle [7 Jan 2003]
# Discovery Channel Style – Do it with the Croc Hunter filming you…Danny H. [7 Jan 2003]
# R-Rated Movie on Free-To-Air Television Style – he woman feigns excitement, the man is unable to display an erection- a few seconds later, it’s over and everyone starts thinking about products…millard filmore [7 Jan 2003]
#Cowboy style – Once you’ve engaged in intercourse tell her that her sister is a better bonk than her and see if you can hang on for eight seconds! …Simon T [7 Jan 2003]
# Snob Style – At the height of passion, start name dropping… Mad Gorgon [7 Jan 2003]
# Bullshit artist sex – look I’ve liked you for a while now and I’m so happy to be lying here with you but I would love to get your phone number so I can call you and we can go out sometime… C.W. Hague [7 Jan 2003]
# Plumber position – you stay in all day and still no one comes. indy [7 Jan 2003]
# Going solo postition – attempting to mate while drinking lemonade… Will Harrison [7 Jan 2003]
# Necrophiliac postion – climb on and get get off all while the partner is asleep… Alice Astraea [7 Jan 2003]
# Jedi Knight Style – Put on a glow in the dark condom. Breathe very heavily and insist your partner joins the dark side. If partner refuses then the lightsaber fight starts… Doin’ it DownUnder [7 Jan 2003]
# Saloon Style – Liquor up the front, poker round the back. ..Wet Willy [7 Jan 2003]
# Hoochie Style – You recognize this style when it’s like trying to throw a hotdog down a hallway… Jessica [7 Jan 2003]
# Magician Style – Propose this to a girl (or guy) and when she asks “How is that?”, you say “we have sex and then you disappear.”… Master Mike [7 Jan 2003]
# Kylie style – I should be so lucky…Some Bozo [7 Jan 2003]
# Ozzy Osbourne Style – Start off ‘Flying High Again’ with a little ‘Sweet Leaf’. Get out your ‘Iron Man’, unless you have a ‘Mr. Tinkertrain’, then you better say ‘Goodbye To Romance’ But if your mate has ‘Desire’ give it a ‘Shot In The Dark’, just make sure you don’t take the ‘Road To Nowhere’ unless you’re a bum pirate or trying not to make any ‘Crazy Babies’. Just remember while you shag like a couple of ‘War Pigs’ that you give fair warning by yelling ‘Mama, I’m Coming Home’! …Doli Capax [7 Jan 2003]
# President Bush style – you don’t know how, but people are getting screwed…your minister for defence has all the details… Dex [7 Jan 2003]
# Doggy style – where the girl rolls over and the guy begs… Jane Mckinnon [7 Jan 2003]
# Nike style – Just do it…Woodsie [7 Jan 2003]
# Microsoft style – Do the same position every week but insist to your partner that its new and improved…Robert Nineteen [7 Jan 2003]
#Diet style – Looks the same, smells the same, but just somehow aint the same…Bill [7 Jan 2003]
# Any style – as long as no body feels “shafted”…marsha cody [7 Jan 2003]
# Job interview style – you lie, cheat and pretend to be someone else to get in…lyrebird [7 Jan 2003]
#Self-actualization style – Scream your own name when you come…modar md [20 Feb 2003]
# Ethiopian Style – You can be sure she’ll swallow! …Marshall C [5 Mar 2003]
# Porno style – Do it in front of a camera…Goldfish Poodle Boy [12 Mar 2003]
# Porno style (advanced) – Do it in front of a camera without her knowing. Then tell her. Count how many teeth you lose in the process…Goldfish Poodle Boy
# Kama Sutra Style – Have sex while reading a book – about having sex (possibly while reading a book)… Goldfish Poodle Boy [9 May 2003]
# Door Knob style – Everyone gets a turn… chloe [9 May 2003]
#The Rodeo Position – You mount your girl from behind as you would a horse, reach around and grab her breasts, then whisper in her ear “Hey, these feel just like your sisters!!” Then you see if you can stay on for 15 seconds wihout getting thrown off!!… Racinruss [7 Jan 2003]

Which ones are your favourites?

funny-sex-jokes

Great Sex Positions – just joking!

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