We all have our own ideas on what makes a successful relationship.
This definition of an intimate relationship by Dr. Haritt Lerner (Dance of Intimacy) seems to resonate with me.
“An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences or sacrifices or betrays the self.
Each party expresses strengths or vulnerabilities, weaknesses and competence in a balanced way and staying emotionally connected to another person who thinks, feels and believes differently to us, without feeling a need to change, convince or fix the other person.”
Then there’s this excerpt from “Conversations With God”, written by Neale Donald Walsch, about LOVE. Some of the thoughts in this piece can be quite confronting, especially the last line … is nothing inappropriate when it comes to love?
“Love seeks to damage or hurt no one.
It seeks to avoid the possibility of damage or hurt to anyone.
Love is without condition, without limitation and without need.
Because it is without condition it requires nothing in order to be expressed. It asks nothing in return. It withdraws nothing in retaliation.
Because it is without limitation, it places no limitation on another. It knows no ending but goes on forever. It experiences no boundary or barrier.
Because it is without need, it seeks to take nothing not freely given. It seeks to hold nothing not wishing to be held. It seeks to give nothing not joyously welcomed.
And it is free. Love is that which is free, for freedom is the essence of what God is and love is God, expressed.
There is no form and there is no manner in which the expression of love that is pure and true, is inappropriate.”
But most of all, I like what Stephen Covey has to say,
“Real love supports people to reach their true potential, not make them feel comfortable.”
… I wonder what you think? I’d love to find out.