Non-contact Sex, Phone Sex, Email Sex, Verbal Sexual Fantasies and more …
Is it time to spice up your relationship? Maybe it’s time to try something new. I’m fairly open about the subject of sex. I think it’s been hidden and shamed just a bit too much in our society these days … there are more complaints about sex and nudity on TV for instance, than there is about the level of violence that we are subjected to. So let’s get move the shame out of the way and discuss the benefits and the possibilities (I hope my mum and dad never get to read this though).
In the early 90’s I trained to lead a very powerful group therapy workshop where we explored verbal sexual fantasies in a controlled therapeutic environment (they were just a small aspect of our training and experience, yet a very vital part) … let me explain more completely why it was important.
Most therapy is designed to remove/change/resolve the issues we may have (usually from past experience, upbringing, cultural and religious doctrines etc). The only reason we may want to remove, change or resolve these “Issues” is because they can prevent us from living a life of complete unlimited joy, which is really our natural state. From experience, sexual hang-ups, inhibiting beliefs and dysfunction are the cause for much distress in relationships these days, not even to mention crime.
OK … now with the background and formal stuff out of the way, let’s get in and have some fun.
Phone sex … yes I admit it … I’ve done it with a complete stranger, with someone I hadn’t met in person and with a special partner too. Yum! Not all at the same time though…I am definitely a monogamous phone sexer (let’s call it that for want of a better phrase)…man, I have to tell you, it’s almost as good as the real thing for me…but let me move on to the next part first…
Email sex … yes, I’ve done that too … ha, I’d only had the Internet for about 3 months and I indulged in that one with someone I hadn’t met in person too … man, almost as good as the real thing again.
Verbal Sexual Fantasies … yes definitely. They were my very first experience in the realm of sexual fantasies that utterly transcends anything that could be classified as shameful or dirty because they were experienced in the context of a therapeutic and healing environment. Now I reckon most of you have probably at one time or another talked about your fantasies with a partner…I’m willing to bet closer to 100% of you too. Sounds pretty normal to me …
There are a couple things I have learned from my non-contact sexual forays into the realms of pleasure and fantasy … and please let me pass them on here for the benefit of all concerned and interested … and frankly, if you’ve found yourself reading this far, you fit into the interested category at least.
So, how do I put this tactfully??? A sexual fantasy tends to benefit both parties more if the fantasy is performed on the woman … (this was first taught to me by a man by the way).
For the girls, tell a guy what you might like him to do TO you or FOR you. Sometimes my most delicious foreplay is to ask a man to hug me, hold me, kiss me gently on the neck/back/toes etc etc. Very rarely do I feel like getting straight into something more intense. Just as in life, most women need warming up first … gee, a man can take out the garbage, make a cup of coffee or just sit and listen to her and it will begin to turn a woman on more than almost anything else.
For the guys, just like I’ve described above, my recommendation is to appeal to the woman’s emotional needs first. Make sure she is comfortable, ask her if there’s something you can do for her (in real life, doing the dishes, giving her a neck rub, pouring a glass of champagne usually work well). In this instance where there is no physical contact, giving loving hugs usually work a treat. But as you are well aware, each woman has different needs, so it’s best to ask, which also helps you find out more about her (and most women melt when a man is truly interested in who she is as a person). So to further the suggestions and pursue this sexual fantasy, the next steps would be to move ever so gently into exploring what makes this woman feel good … would she like a massage with scented oil in a candlelit room with romantic music softly playing in the background…would she like to be gently touched and kissed all over her body…getting the picture? If she’s quiet on the other end of the phone, chances are you can keep on exploring the fantasy right to it’s limit (or until she begs you to stop).
Hey, I hope you have fun playing with this stuff and I wonder what other ideas you might have too !!!
Copyright ©2007. Elizabeth Richardson. All rights reserved worldwide. This article is not intended for republication in any form without specific permission from the author.