To Discover How The Nights Will Feel …
STEP 1. Walk around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
STEP 2. At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
STEP 3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
STEP 4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
STEP 5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink.
STEP 6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
STEP 7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
STEP 8. Sing songs in the dark until 4AM.
STEP 9. Put the alarm on for 5AM.
STEP 10. Get up. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
Can You Stand The Mess That Children Make?
Let’s Find Out …
- Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
- Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
- Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
- Then, rub them on the clean walls.
- Cover the stains with crayons.
There! How does that look?
Do You Know How To Dress A Small Child?
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems. Try this …
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this — all morning.
What About The Family Car?
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.
- Buy a chocolate ice cream and put it in the glove box. Leave it there.
- Get a coin. Stick it in the DVD player.
- Take a family size package of chocolate biscuits. Mash them into the back seat.
- Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.